I’m One of Those Who Supports My Adult Children: Why I Choose to Help

Stories about a recent study highlighting that nearly half of parents with adult children provide them with financial assistance deeply resonate with my own experiences. Like many, I contribute a significant amount, roughly around the $1,400 reported in the study. While this might seem counterintuitive from a financial planning perspective, particularly for those nearing retirement, there are compelling reasons behind this choice. This article delves into the motivations and considerations of parents who financially support their adult children, examining the common expenses covered and the potential impact on their own financial futures. We’ll explore the nuances of this decision and why, despite conventional wisdom, many parents find it a worthwhile investment. Key Findings from the Savings.com Study A study by Savings.com shed light on the prevalence and nature of financial support for adult children. Here are some key takeaways: Forty-five percent of parents with adult children provide financial support to at least one of their grown offspring. The average monthly support exceeds $1,400, with groceries, cell phone bills, and rent/mortgage being the most common expenses covered. Twenty-one percent of parents contribute to their children’s student loan payments, averaging $245 per month. Parents within ten years of retirement contribute the most, averaging around $2,100 monthly, while often allocating significantly less to their own retirement accounts. These statistics paint a clear picture: many parents are making substantial financial contributions to support their adult children, sometimes at the expense of their own retirement savings. My Personal Approach to Supporting My Children Like many in the study, I find myself contributing significantly to my adult children’s expenses. While I haven’t meticulously tracked the exact amount, it likely falls within the $1,400 to $2,100 range mentioned in the research. Despite understanding the conventional wisdom of prioritizing retirement savings, I choose to provide this support for several reasons. Having never adhered to a strict budget (as discussed here), I prioritize direct assistance to my children over maximizing retirement contributions. This decision stems from a desire to help them navigate the increasingly challenging financial landscape faced by younger generations. Reasons Behind My Support As a Gen Xer, I recall my own parents’ generosity during my early adulthood. While certain expenses like cell phones were not prevalent then, they provided valuable support as I established my financial footing. Inspired by this, and embracing a modified “Die Broke” philosophy, I prefer to assist my children now rather than leave them a larger inheritance later. Contributing to experiences like my daughter’s trip abroad and my son’s solo travel provides immense satisfaction. If family trips are less frequent now, I find joy in supporting their individual adventures while continuing to work. It’s about prioritizing their present well-being and development alongside our future security. Acknowledging Varying Financial Realities It’s crucial to acknowledge that everyone’s financial situation is unique. Some may find it difficult to comprehend providing over a thousand dollars per month to adult children, especially given their own financial constraints. I understand this perspective and recognize that millions struggle to make ends meet, let alone offer substantial assistance to others. Within our own circle, we often have fewer resources than our friends and extended family. We may not be taking lavish vacations or purchasing second homes, but we prioritize supporting our children in meaningful ways. Paying for cell phones, groceries, and travel may be more common than some realize, and for us, it’s a conscious choice aligned with our values. Empowering Financial Independence While I currently provide financial support, I recognize the importance of fostering financial independence in my adult children. As they mature, encouraging them to take responsibility for their own well-being is paramount. Gradually reducing reliance on parental assistance instills self-reliance and promotes personal growth. This transition allows them to develop essential life skills, learn from financial successes and failures, and build a strong foundation for their future. It also benefits us as parents, freeing up resources to focus on retirement plans and personal goals. We can shift from primary providers to mentors and advisors, offering guidance as they navigate their finances. A Continued Journey of Support Ultimately, witnessing our children thrive independently brings a profound sense of pride. Even as they achieve financial self-sufficiency, I anticipate continuing to offer support in various forms, much like my own father did. The journey toward financial independence varies for each family, but clear expectations, open communication, and reasonable boundaries are key. By helping our adult children become self-sufficient, we not only promote their growth and success but also create a stronger foundation for the entire family’s financial well-being. It’s about finding the right balance between providing support and empowering them to forge their own paths. Grab your free expense tracker when you subscribe to the MOAM newsletter This article is for informational purposes only. It should not be considered Financial or Legal Advice. Not all information will be accurate. Consult a financial professional before making any major financial decisions.